#MusicAndMentalHealth Wisdom Wednesday: Dear Nano

Wednesdays this month, I’m aiming to feature the writing of a colleague who’s doing good work helping musicians find ways to balance work, life, and play. Whether they’re finding paths for themselves and sharing their journey, or actively guiding people through the process of gaining a good groundwork, these folks are truly thinking outside the box of our traditional grindstone mentality. The result is careers and people that are happier, more productive in the long run, and ultimately, more successful (and it all depends on how you define ‘success’).

This week I am delighted to have a personalized question answered by Dear Nano, aka my amazingly astute, wise, and versatile friend Leah Pogwizd.

Leah is a bassist, bandleader, and educator living and working in the Seattle area. We met at the University of North Texas in the early Aughts- she was getting her bachelor’s in jazz bass and I my masters in trombone performance. (Leah was a member of the band from which comes the infamous “grow a pair” story referenced in this post, and it’s part of the reason we got to know each other and become friends). Over the years she’s transitioned from being an academic ethnomusicologist to one of the most exciting new voices in jazz education. Her approach to life and work constantly surprises me with refreshing new insight into what it means to be a musician in our current era (This post: “Versatility, not Virtuosity“,  has become my rallying cry for the future of music ed).

Her newest effort,  “Nanoversity of Jazz: Byte-Sized Musicianship“,  is tackling all areas of learning jazz performance in small, manageable lessons.  Check out all her great work and support her Patreon if you could use individualized, amazing insight each month to further your playing.

She’s started a weekly advice column called Dear Nano, and this week, answered my question! As always she completely surpassed any expectation and answered in a uniquely Leah, completely insightful way.

Dear Nano,

How does a freelancing musician find any time for herself? What does it look like to balance ‘always being on’ with a healthy approach to playing and performing?

Thanks,

Overwhelmed Minnesotan

First of all, I’m tickled that it’s only week two of Dear Nano and already we’re getting formal notes with moniker signatures!

Second, it’s funny that you should mention finding “time for herself.” The vast majority of books about freelancing are written by White men. It’s not that they don’t have good advice, it’s just a totally different game if you’re female (or POC, LGBT, disabled, etc.) 

Advice like “take time for yourself” and “learn to say ‘no’” is great unless you’re having to work twice as hard to prove yourself and are the only person fighting the good fight on an issue. So instead, I’m going to offer some advice to female freelance musicians that’s going to sound a bit odd and will require some explanation/pop-culture references: embrace your animus.

Growing up, my mom was really into Jungian psychology and effectively passed it on to me. Jung postulated that men have a feminine anima and women have a masculine animus. In true dude fashion, he wrote mainly about how it affected men, which is why there’s no widely-discussed counterpart to “a man being in touch with his feminine side.”   

There’s a whole book on the topic called Invisible Partners (available in full on Scribd), but at almost 40 years old, it’s a bit dated (such as some cringe-worthy discussions of how homosexuality is sometimes the product of maladapted anima…)

Instead, I’ve opted for pop-culture references. I was recently watching the video for Kelis’ “Caught Out There” (1999), directed by Hype Williams. Just listen/watch and I’ll explain what I mean.

Notice that the only time the male actor speaks with his own voice is at 1:55 when he says, “I love you” – that’s her philandering ex. The other times, when he’s lying on the floor or bruised on the therapist’s chair, it’s her voice which (IMHO) represents her animus.

I totally get it – when you’re betrayed by a male partner (or watch male superiors and colleagues get away with annoying, abusive, or criminal behavior; or get constantly told that femininity is inferior to masculinity), you get mad as hell and pummel your “invisible partner” within an inch of his life.

The video outlines a good course of action: tear shit up (my primary regret of being rendered homeless by my last breakup was that I didn’t get to destroy a living room in such an epic fashion), march in solidarity with other rightly angry women (or honor your feminine archetypes, if you want to read it that way), but ultimately embrace your masculine side (the way Kelis kicks it with the Neptunes (who produced the track) at the end of the video).

This isn’t about manning up or copping male entitlement, it’s about becoming a whole, balanced person in the face of hardship and trauma. If you’re going to be a successful freelancer, you need to be a one-woman-army and have all archetypes on deck – including some strong, sensitive masculine ones.

See what I mean? That was not at all what one might have expected- but it was spot on. I’m reminded of the great Maxine Waters, D-CA, and the now famous “reclaiming my time” moment. Don’t let expectations about who or how to be stop you from getting the answers, rest, gigs, recognition, or WHATEVER you need to be happy in your career.