#MusicAndMentalHealth: Then vs Now

When I set out this month to put focus on how I and my colleagues balance our careers and our mental and emotional health, I had no idea the myriad places each topic would take me. I’ve covered so many ideas: from talking about how I balance work & life, researching what burnout feels like (and discovering just how badly I had it), and giving myself permission to vacation; to highlighting some of my favorite folks (Rebecca Hass on rest, Leah Pogwizd on owning your animus, and Tully Hall on curiosity); to asking you via Facebook posts how you do self-care, design your perfect schedule, rock it out, and manage stress. 

I’ll admit that at the beginning of May I was a little bit of a wreck. I’d made an unforgiving and jam-packed teaching schedule for myself, and April and May were busy with gigs, recording sessions, and rehearsals. I was also navigating the resurgence of a traumatic episode in my past, which often happens around the event’s anniversary. In short, I was more than burnt-out, I was ready to sweep out the fireplace and move out of the building.

At the end of last year I set myself some hefty goals for 2018, and I started out January with my usual nose-to-the-grindstone pace & a to-do list miles long. It might be no surprise to anyone, but I have trouble taking days off. There’s always something I can get done if I have the time. Just sitting down- with no real agenda- is incredibly hard. Now, procrastination- that’s another story. I’m happy to set myself a task and then avoid it at all costs, only to rush the work just at the end of the time I’ve allotted for it.

What I’ve learned this month is that overwork does no one any good. I’m self-employed, and many of the tasks and goals I set for myself do not need to have deadlines or be rushed. No one but me is suffering if I don’t get a certain product out into the world when I said I would. If I let myself get it done as I’m inspired to do it, or even just forgive myself when I miss a day of work on it, it’ll get done, and be even better than I thought.

In June & July, I’m intentionally not setting a theme for the blog. I’ll be writing and checking in, but I’m giving myself permission to go back to freeform posting. I’ve also assigned myself only one big project- the marketing and pricing design of my music clinician business- and put a few others on hold. Less is more, this summer, as I give my tired mind a chance to reconnect with the inspiration music and teaching give me.

What have you learned in May? How will you move forward in new and healthier ways?

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